Staring in the dark

I am lying here in bed staring into the darkness pondering my next moves in life. Where will I go? What can I achieve? Will I be healthy? Is anything going to fall in line with me so that I can jump on and grab tight and be happy with it. When is it my turn to be happy, to be in the groove, on fire, burning up, switched on, doing well, what Charlie Sheen had termed Winning or for that matter freaking bi-winning? Will I know? Will I see it? Is it going to fall in my lap or hit me in the back of the head? I want to be successful, nay, I need to be successful - I have to!

I am so sick of not being able to succeed while watching others be able to go out to expensive dinners, buy vehicles, buy electronics, etc on a whim or just cause. Why can't I be able to buy a new car, buy that nice Transformer Prime Tablet, Build me a new computer, save some money for my short but distant future, or go on some wicked crazy vacations.

I don't have any answers. I am sure others will have many answers but will those answers resonate into meaning in my brain or just fill up my head with hot air.